Colds, Food, and Love

Ok people.

I have come to the conclusion that my immune system has decided that it wants to quit on me.

My reasoning behind this conclusion.. I am sick for the second time this semester.

In fact, I am sick for the second time in a month.

Dumb.

It's just a baby cold (but lets be honest I am a baby.)

This means that all I have accomplished today is watching reruns on netflix and chillin in bed.

Oh I also went to class and my office hour.

But those are just normal everyday things.

Not normal everyday when I'm sick things.

My point behind this whole schpeal is that when I'm sick I like to eat sick foods.

Not foods that are sick or that taste bad.

But foods that taste excellent when I am sick.

The first of these is Spaghettios.

Now it's really up to you but I prefer the non-meatball variety.
I don't currently have any spaghettios but I'm really leaning towards making a little trip to walmart and buying some.

The second thing I love when I'm sick (well all the time acutally) is Velveeta mac and cheese.
Really there's nothing to be said about this other than it's God's gift to peope.
I like the microwaveable cup kind.
Because I can't make the box kind in my dorm.
Plus if I'm going to buy a box of mac and cheese it's going to be the Kraft kind.
Preferably in some sort of shape such as Scoopy-Doo or Spongebob.

The third thing I love is water.
Normally I'm more of a tea or soda kind of person but when I am sick none of those things taste right.
So water is excellent.

In general, I also like chocolate.
When sick or healthy, chocolate makes everything better.
My new addiction is york peppermint patties.
I have like one a day.
It's a problem.
But a wonderfully delicious problem.

There you have it people.
Those are all the things I'm loving on this chilly, sick Wednesday.

I wanted to post some pins this week, but my internet is refusing to open pinterest. Or netflix.
Not a happy moment for me.

Lazy Sundays

Tomorrow I have a midterm.

I'm not worried about it but I would like to study for a couple hours.

However, I have this problem.

I am addicted to reruns of grey's anatomy on netflix.

This is going to sound stupid.

I am well aware of that, but hear me out.

But through watching this show I've learned a lot about myself.

The things I've learned about myself aren't stupid, but the method of learning them is a little bit.

1. I could never ever be a surgeon.

2.  I would be a complete mess if anyone close to me died.

3. I hate crying in public.

4. I hate that television can make me cry.

5.  I relate any thing (tv shows, songs, other peoples stories, etc) to my own life and then I feel it as if it were really happening.

6. I have a hard time being productive when there are hundreds of episodes to be watched.

So now I'm going to go watch another episode before I start my studying for today.

That way I'll have plenty of time to learn about public speaking before the test.

I hope you spend your day doing something as wonderful as laying in bed watching a good show.

Oh Pinterest.

Sup guys.

I have some serious trouble getting my days right on these link parties.

We're talking seriously serious here.

I'm always exactly one day late.

But today,

even though I really really want to share my finds from Pinterest

 with you lovely people I am refraining.

Why?!

(Because I know you're all that shocked that you need a question mark, an exclamation point, and a huge font to indicate your shouting shockedness)

Because Natalie has a serious, serious pinning problem.

Even more serious than the problem of getting my days straight for the link ups.

So clearly, it's real serious.

Pinterest has single handedly made me obsessed with weddings, babies, houses, clothes  and nail polish.

(notice I said clothes not shopping, I don't think anything's going to change my feelings towards shopping)

Basically Pinterest has turned me into an actual girl.

See before, the only thing on that list I enjoyed was houses, now, I'm completely obsessed with everything girly imaginable (again, minus the shopping).

I used to be neutral when it came to girlish things.

In fact, I tried to avoid these things at all costs.

Not anymore, Pinterest. Not anymore.

Dear Pinterest and those who eagerly await my finds,

 I love you and will be back soon.

But right now, I need a break.

Before I go insane because I can't be planning a wedding,

or decorating a house,

or buying lots and lots of clothes.

Sincerely,

Natalie

Aha

Today I was reading some of my favorite blogs.

And these ladies were talking about their "aha" moments.

Those moments when things just click for you.

For me it happened at the end of my senior year of high school.

So pretty really recently.

My whole life I was really happy.

I loved my life more than anything.

The people in it, the things I did, even the days where I did absolutely nothing.

Then life hit me.

Until I was 16, nothing really painful had ever happened.

But at the age of 16 a lot of things fell apart for me.

A marriage, mulitiple friendships, things I'd worked my whole life for.

I was always the one who could handle it by myself.

But this was too much for me.

I blamed myself for everything.

I began to feel I wasn't good enough.

I deserved for my life to fall apart.

I wasn't skinny enough.

I wasn't pretty enough.

People didn't like me.

I didn't fit in.

I didn't deserve to be loved.

These were really hard feelings for me.

I'd never struggled with this much.

I was, by definition, depressed.

But I couldn't admit to it.

I did everything I could think of to trick myself into being happy again.

But it doesn't work that way.

I kept these feelings to myself for almost two years.

It all happened in a moment.

I was laying in my bed late at night.

My chest felt like it was caving in and I couldn't breathe.

I couldn't move.

I was holding on by a thread.

Then I realized that I needed help.

I've never been good at asking for help.

I like to be independent.

So going to my mom and asking to see a therapist was one of the hardest things I had to do.

But after talking to my doctor, I realized that the problem wasn't that I wasn't good enough or pretty enough or skinny enough. It was that I didn't know how to love myself.

I didn't know how much I was worth.

I didn't realize how much I meant to people.

I'm not going to tell you I'm completely cured.

It's not something that just goes away.

I still struggle with being myself and being ok with who I am.

But realizing that I am worth so much more than I ever gave myself credit for made me one step closer to being ok again.

I can honestly sit here and say I am happy.

I am comfortable with being myself.

I am ok with sharing these things.

And from now on I know that I will be ok.

I may have my moments, but I will never let myself suffer the way I did.

I am better than that.

Home Sweet Home

Sugar Land is a wondeful place.

I know so many people who couldn't wait to get out of this place, but for me I couldn't wait to come home. The minute I left for college, I missed my hometown so much.

I am so glad to be home.

And to be with my boy.

I love Lubbock so much, but this will always feel like home to me.

Especially as long as my amazing guy is here.

I am so thankful that I have such a loving home to return to.

This is the first time I've seen my mom since she dropped me off.

I've missed her.

She is the greatest woman I know.

I'm so glad that I get to spend some time with her this weekend.

Sadly, Tech lost last night.

Although in a way I was sort of glad because I didn't want to miss an awesome winning game.

But it's still a loss.

Oh well.

Now I'm off to spend the day with my dad and his parents.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. 

Christmas in Octoboer

Today is going to be a great day.

A day so good that I can't help but be happy.

I know this for two reasons.

The first is that my eight a.m. class was let out 40 minutes early because my teacher didn't post his notes.

The second (and way more exciting) reason is that there are Christmas lights going up on campus.

Heck yes.

Christmas is by far my absolute favorite holiday.

Even though it's only October I am already so excited.

The lights seriously made my day.

I also know it's going to be great because tomorrow this college kid gets to go home for the first time!

I can't wait.

I miss my bed.

And my shower.

And my dog.

And my mom.

And Keegan.

I am so happy I get to see them all again!

And now, it's time to Pin.

Christmas edition.

Even though it was supposed to be yesterday.

(I won't tell anyone if you won't.)



Merry Christmas in October

Interesting?

Howdy, howdy, howdy.

I'm sure at times in your life you have played on of those games where you have to tell everyone something interesting about yourself.

I'm going to let you in on a little secret, I can never come up with anything interesting about myself.

Never.

I promise I am an interesting person.

I like to think so at least.

But when it comes to ice breaker games and fun facts about myself.

I am the most boring person in the world.

This is not in any way an exaggeration.

So I thought if I'm so terrible at this in real life, maybe I should come up with some solid interesting facts about myself that I can spout out whenever anyone asks.

One:

I am completely obsessed with reality tv.

More specifically the Kardashians.

I know, it's trash, but it's super duper entertaining.

Judge me all you want right now.

Two:

I like to plan things.

It doesn't really matter what it is, I just like planning stuff.

My wedding is somewhat mapped out in my head already.

Three:

Pinterest is my actual best friend.

Don't worry, I have real friends too.

I just enjoy spending time with Pinterest.

Four:

I'm really indecisive so I don't have very many favorite things.

Except for dark chocolate peanut m&m's.

Yum.

Five:

I love reading and watching things about Home Improvement.

I especially love Better Homes and Gardens Magazine.

If one day I can keep my house as clean and pretty as theirs, I will be happy (or on drugs).

This will most likely never ever happen. 

Six:

I can't do the number three on my right hand without it looking like a claw.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

Seven:

I have a huge thing for Mac and Cheese.

Huge.

I could it eat it every meal.

Except that I'm slightly lactose intollerant, so really I can't.

But a girl can dream.

Eight:

I love watching movies.

But I haven't seen very many.

I love recommedations though (hint, hint).

Nice.

See I'm a little bit interesting.

Get excited for tomorrow when I get to spend some time with my best friend Pinterest.

Woohoo.