Sunday, January 15, 2012

I'm Crazy Because I..

For those of you who spend a lot of time with me you know I have my crazy.
My moments of complete nonsense or my moments of complete breakdown.
They come as a part of the package that is me.

Since I am currently wide awake in bed due to some of this ridiculousness, I thought I'd share with you a few of my more ridiculous pieces of crazy.

1. I am afraid of taking showers after dark.
My bathroom at my mom's house has this tiny little window above the toilet. Somehow, I convinced myself that people could see me naked. Considering my bathroom is on the second floor and faces my backyard this is actually impossible. Although, technically if they stood on the neighbor's roof they could, and trust me I had myself convinced they did just that.

2. I can't vacuum a room if I'm in it by myself.
As a kid, it was always my chore to vacuum the house, but the sound it made stressed me out because it was so loud I wouldn't be able to hear anything but it. The reason this stressed me out? Obviously, I was convinced that people were trying to break in at all times and I wanted to be able to hear them when they opened my door so I'd know to call the police.

3. I can't leave doors half open when I am trying to sleep.
I honestly have no explanation for this one. It just causes me major stress if I see even the tiniest crack when I am trying to sleep.

4. I have toilet anxiety.
On my 7th birthday, I was watching a special on animal planet about alligators in the sewers of Chicago. So the natural leap in my seven year old mind was that alligators in the sewer meant that at any given moment an alligator can swim into your toilet. {I know it's completely irrational, but cut a girl some slack, I was seven} Well this led to years of hovering above the seat and peeing faster than you can imagine. Seriously people, to this day, if me and my brother were to race in a public bathroom kind of situation, I'd beat him every time.

5. I can't play hide and seek.
First, I don't like tiny spaces that are good for hiding. Second, I was always really afraid that the people I was playing with were trying to trick me by telling me to hide and then doing something else. 

6. After about 11 pm, I'm convinced there is someone in my house
It doesn't matter if I'm there alone or if the whole family is home. The tiniest noise will have me curled up in a ball hiding behind my bed with 911 dialed on my phone waiting to see the person reveal himself. This one makes falling asleep especially difficult because as we all know sometimes houses creak at night causing noises.

7. If a bathroom has a shower curtain, I must look behind it before sitting on the toilet.
Basically, I'm convinced a serial rapist is waiting behind it waiting for me to pull down my pants before he strikes.

I'm going to stop now because you all get the picture.
And also because I had no idea how many things scare the bejeezus out of me.
Well, and mostly because I'm feeling a little silly.
All of my crazy written down for me to read makes feel pretty embarrassed.
I didn't realize the extent of it.

Anyways to wrap it, I'm convinced people are out to get me and that I have swamp creators living in my toilet. Don't judge.


Breanna said...

hahahaha! I can't sleep with doors open either!

Gretchen said...

I have a lot of similar fears. I'm glad I'm not the only super scaredy cat in the world! :)

Laura Darling said...

I never heard of that alligator thing but I can understand why you would be freaked out by that! And #3--I totally agree!