Zeus Has A Tiny Penis

 It is days like this where I wonder what the heck I am doing in college.

Don't get me wrong.

I'm so grateful for the opportunity to be here.

To get an education and start a career. 

I'm excited for my future.

And I love my major. 

I love interior design so much 

It is the perfect fit for me and there's nothing I'd rather be doing.

I can't wait to get out into the real world and start designing.

But let's just think about this for a second.

When I spend two hours discussing the size of Ancient Greek sculptures penises,

looking at Greek erotic poetry that would make porn stars look away,

 and the two more hours discussing economic policy

 and how "it's up to us to change shit. We have to change stuff."

Oh and I can't forget to mention the most vitally important piece of information I learned,

"Ben Bernanke is an economic badass." 

I kid you not, a girl in my class asked,

"If this is supposed to be Zeus, shouldn't he be a bigger down there?

I mean he is a God, right?

Why is he so tiny?"

Our professor is the world's leading expert in an Ancient Mesoamerican society. 

And you are going to spend your time asking her about a penis?

Makes sense. 

What am I learning?

I could have Googled these things and it would've taken probably 10 minutes.

So why did I go spend two hours to listen to someone tell me that?

Why am I paying all this money?

Taking out loans?

Living in Lubbock so far away from home?

Well I think Conan O'brien says it best,

"With your college diploma, you now have a crushing advantage over 8% of the work force.

 I'm talking about drop out losers like Bill gates, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerburg."

Most days I am so thankful for the opportunity I've been given to be here.

But when I spend days learning about these things,

It makes me wonder if I'm really going to be better off with a college degree.

I know that I am, but honestly, wouldn't it make you wonder too?

Now I'm off to go study more Greek genitalia for my test.

...

That's college for you people.